Examples:
1. My Grandmother is not happy in the nursing home.
2. The children at church do not like my daughter.
3. The judge is holding me responsible for what my son did.
4. The Banker is mad for my not paying the loan back.
5. Brother so and so doesn't like me.
6. The teacher at school calls about my child not minding her.
In each of the above examples someone has a problem and is trying to get me to solve his or her problem. My grandmother has a problem, she is not happy. My daughter has a problem with rejection, as do some of the children at church. The judge doesn't like my son's behavior. My son has a problem with the consequences from his choices. The banker wants the money back. Brother so and so is hurting inside and the school teacher cannot get this child to mind.
In each of the examples mentioned above, describe the solution in terms of presiding over one's temple, and the stewardship responsibility of others. The four steps outlined below may be helpful.
My first step is to counsel myself with the truth, which is, I cannot solve anyone else's problems. I am not the solution, Heavenly Father is the source for solving all problems.
Secondly, I must recognize that the other person's choices contributed to the problem, causing some of their pain and suffering.
Thirdly, since most people like to disown, each is trying to get me to accept responsibility for all the consequences, and to solve the problem so they will not have to do anything.
Fourth step, I do recognize a stewardship opportunity and even a responsibility in some cases.
For example, the banker lent me the money without getting adequate collateral to recover his money. My grandmother was not happy before she went into nursing home and my visiting her will not make her happy now.
The children at church have not developed the capacity to love all people, including my daughter. My daughters main source of feelings of self worth is coming from others. My son doesn't equate his choices to the penalties he has been given and the judge cannot figure out how to correct disruptive behavior. Brother so and so doesn't feel perfect love for himself, let alone me. The school teacher hasn't developed the relationship with this child, or she is trying to control her through her voice, or through rejecting her, or through intimidation.
SO WHAT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY?
In each case, I do have a stewardship opportunity, which can help me love and serve Heavenly Father as aI love and serve others. For example:
The Banker: I did borrow the money. I did promise to pay it on a timer basis. But all did not work out as I had planned. The banker wants his money now. He may accuse me of being a dishonest high priest. All of which are consequences from my not keeping my promises.
What is the solution? To condemn myself? To get depressed? To tell myself that I am no good? To tell myself that I shouldn't have borrowed the money? No. All of these statements help to just expand the problem because it sustains a temporal focus. I need to repent and enter the spiritual world in order to find the solution.
1. I must recognize that I have made a serious mistake. I have made promises and have failed to keep them. I have not represented the Lord Correctly.
2. I then seek to be forgiven by heavenly Father and to get his Spirit back into my life. I cannot overcome this without Him.
3. I will apologize to the banker for not keeping my promises.
4. Finally, I will seek spiritual help to find ways to earn more money, so I can repay the loan. All of which will help me to grow spiritually, as I seek and receive spiritual help to meet my obligations.
I DO NOT DENY THE DEMAND OF JUSTICE.
I accept the consequences for my choices, and then seek to use these consequences to grow spiritually. Some of the consequences are as follows:
1. the banker will continue to cal and ask for his money.
2. He will treat me like I am a dishonest person, that my word is not good and that I am not trustworthy.
3. My relationship with him will be damaged.
4. My credit will be damaged.
5. Others will learn of my failure to pay the debt.
6. Others may condemn me for not keeping my promises.
These consequences are mine. I fully qualified for them. My choices have brought them into my life, but as I repent, the Saviors atonement has paid for my mistakes in full. My salvation will not be hindered from this mistake. In fact, as I make restitution, my spiritual growth will continue to be on schedule for exaltation.
SEE THOUGHT PATTERN #9 ON REPENTANCE.
"I know that every difficulty we face in life, even those that come from own negligence or even transgression, can be turned by the Lord into growth experiences, a virtual ladder upward."
(Elder Scott, Ensign, May 1996, p. 26)
When if comes to my grandmother, my daughter, or my son's problems, I can be a comfort, a support, and a light unto them. This is the best way to serve my Heavenly Father, by helping him with these sons and daughters of His. I recognize that I am not their solution, but I can be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. Each may try to convince me that I am their solution, but I know better. Heavenly Father is their only solution. The gospel is the solution. I can help give priesthood blessings, counsel them and just listen. But in the end, their inner peace and happiness must come from above. even their pain and suffering can be for their good, if it draws them closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior.
The school teacher has a problem which she must solve. She can meet with my daughter to build that relationship for respect. She can meet with me to see if I have any suggestions for her and my daughter. The three of us can meet to see what can be done. But in the end, the teacher has to find ways to solve her problem. If my daughter has a problem with this teacher, then she will also need to find a solution. My input is one of a stewardship assignment, that is, to pray and try to help others solve their problems.
Showing posts with label #8 I am not responsible for what others think. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #8 I am not responsible for what others think. Show all posts
Sunday, July 7, 2013
YOU MEAN I AM NOT ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT MY CHILDREN CHOOSE TO DO WITH THEIR POWER OF AGENCY?
Lehi and Sariah had trouble with Laman and Lemuel.
Adam and Eve had a problem with Cain killing his brother and most of their children choosing darkness rather than light.
Our Heavenly Parents even lost a third of their children in the premortal life. They all carried out their stewardship assignments well, but they did not have the power to determine what each child would do with that knowledge. Nephi, Sam and Jacob were taught the same principles as Laman and Lemuel, and they chose to implement these gospel teachings into their daily thinking. Again, that was Nephi, Sam and Jacob's choice and not the choice of the parents.
Carrying out my stewardship assignment the Lord's way requires accountability, but also provides the way to save all my children. "Verily, I say unto you, that which is governed by law is also preserved by law and perfected and sanctified by the same." (D&C 88:34)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE THE POWER TO SAVE MY CHILDREN?
The good news is that those parents who have been sealed in the temple have been given the pwer to bring all their children unto the celestial kingdom.
Elder Packer counsels parents in his cinference talk entitled, "The Measure of a Successful Parent." (Ensign, May 1992, p. 68)
"It is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment. We emphasize that the greatest work you will do will be within the walls of your home (see Harold B. Lee, Ensign, July 1973, p. 98), and that “no other success can compensate for failure in the home” (David O. McKay, Improvement Era, June 1964, p. 445).
The measure of our success as parents, however, will not rest solely on how our children turn out. That judgment would be just only if we could raise our families in a perfectly moral environment, and that now is not possible. It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters.
They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should. It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled.
“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity.
Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, p. 110.)
We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them. When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them. President Brigham Young said: “Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols., 2:90–91.)
Therefore, it appears that parents have the power within themselves to save their children. This is not done by controlling the child, but by controlling their own inner worlds. It is done by becoming spiritually centered and carrying out the stewardship assigment for Heavenly Father. This takes the power from the child's performances and returns it completely in the hands of each parent.
Adam and Eve had a problem with Cain killing his brother and most of their children choosing darkness rather than light.
Our Heavenly Parents even lost a third of their children in the premortal life. They all carried out their stewardship assignments well, but they did not have the power to determine what each child would do with that knowledge. Nephi, Sam and Jacob were taught the same principles as Laman and Lemuel, and they chose to implement these gospel teachings into their daily thinking. Again, that was Nephi, Sam and Jacob's choice and not the choice of the parents.
Carrying out my stewardship assignment the Lord's way requires accountability, but also provides the way to save all my children. "Verily, I say unto you, that which is governed by law is also preserved by law and perfected and sanctified by the same." (D&C 88:34)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE THE POWER TO SAVE MY CHILDREN?
The good news is that those parents who have been sealed in the temple have been given the pwer to bring all their children unto the celestial kingdom.
Elder Packer counsels parents in his cinference talk entitled, "The Measure of a Successful Parent." (Ensign, May 1992, p. 68)
"It is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment. We emphasize that the greatest work you will do will be within the walls of your home (see Harold B. Lee, Ensign, July 1973, p. 98), and that “no other success can compensate for failure in the home” (David O. McKay, Improvement Era, June 1964, p. 445).
The measure of our success as parents, however, will not rest solely on how our children turn out. That judgment would be just only if we could raise our families in a perfectly moral environment, and that now is not possible. It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters.
They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should. It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled.
“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity.
Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, p. 110.)
We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them. When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them. President Brigham Young said: “Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols., 2:90–91.)
Therefore, it appears that parents have the power within themselves to save their children. This is not done by controlling the child, but by controlling their own inner worlds. It is done by becoming spiritually centered and carrying out the stewardship assigment for Heavenly Father. This takes the power from the child's performances and returns it completely in the hands of each parent.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
I AM NOT ACCOUNTABLE FOR ANY ONE ELSE'S TEMPLE
Including the following:
1. My children
2. My spouse
3. My neighbors
4. My parents
5. My grandparents
6. Any other person
As a temple president, I am accountable for what happens within my temple, that is, what I see, think, feel and do I am not accountable for what other people do within their temples.
I DO HAVE A STEWARDSHIP ACCOUNTABILITY
There is a big difference in carrying out a stewardship, as compared to accepting responsibility for what my children decide to think, feel and/or do. When a child is caught stealing, he is accountable for that choice not the parent. How the parent handles this situation falls under stewardship accountability, as well as what the parent has taught the child.
WHAT ARE MY STEWARDSHIP RESPONSIBILITIES?
1. Teach my children. "And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hNoands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the head of the parents....And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord." (D&C 68:25-28)
2. To bring them up in light & truth. "But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth." (D&C 93:40)
3. To influence them in righteousness. "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned: By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile. Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy:" (D&C 121:41-43)
1. My children
2. My spouse
3. My neighbors
4. My parents
5. My grandparents
6. Any other person
As a temple president, I am accountable for what happens within my temple, that is, what I see, think, feel and do I am not accountable for what other people do within their temples.
I DO HAVE A STEWARDSHIP ACCOUNTABILITY
There is a big difference in carrying out a stewardship, as compared to accepting responsibility for what my children decide to think, feel and/or do. When a child is caught stealing, he is accountable for that choice not the parent. How the parent handles this situation falls under stewardship accountability, as well as what the parent has taught the child.
WHAT ARE MY STEWARDSHIP RESPONSIBILITIES?
1. Teach my children. "And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hNoands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the head of the parents....And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord." (D&C 68:25-28)
2. To bring them up in light & truth. "But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth." (D&C 93:40)
3. To influence them in righteousness. "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned: By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile. Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy:" (D&C 121:41-43)
Thursday, May 16, 2013
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