Examples:
1. My Grandmother is not happy in the nursing home.
2. The children at church do not like my daughter.
3. The judge is holding me responsible for what my son did.
4. The Banker is mad for my not paying the loan back.
5. Brother so and so doesn't like me.
6. The teacher at school calls about my child not minding her.
In each of the above examples someone has a problem and is trying to get me to solve his or her problem. My grandmother has a problem, she is not happy. My daughter has a problem with rejection, as do some of the children at church. The judge doesn't like my son's behavior. My son has a problem with the consequences from his choices. The banker wants the money back. Brother so and so is hurting inside and the school teacher cannot get this child to mind.
In each of the examples mentioned above, describe the solution in terms of presiding over one's temple, and the stewardship responsibility of others. The four steps outlined below may be helpful.
My first step is to counsel myself with the truth, which is, I cannot solve anyone else's problems. I am not the solution, Heavenly Father is the source for solving all problems.
Secondly, I must recognize that the other person's choices contributed to the problem, causing some of their pain and suffering.
Thirdly, since most people like to disown, each is trying to get me to accept responsibility for all the consequences, and to solve the problem so they will not have to do anything.
Fourth step, I do recognize a stewardship opportunity and even a responsibility in some cases.
For example, the banker lent me the money without getting adequate collateral to recover his money. My grandmother was not happy before she went into nursing home and my visiting her will not make her happy now.
The children at church have not developed the capacity to love all people, including my daughter. My daughters main source of feelings of self worth is coming from others. My son doesn't equate his choices to the penalties he has been given and the judge cannot figure out how to correct disruptive behavior. Brother so and so doesn't feel perfect love for himself, let alone me. The school teacher hasn't developed the relationship with this child, or she is trying to control her through her voice, or through rejecting her, or through intimidation.
SO WHAT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY?
In each case, I do have a stewardship opportunity, which can help me love and serve Heavenly Father as aI love and serve others. For example:
The Banker: I did borrow the money. I did promise to pay it on a timer basis. But all did not work out as I had planned. The banker wants his money now. He may accuse me of being a dishonest high priest. All of which are consequences from my not keeping my promises.
What is the solution? To condemn myself? To get depressed? To tell myself that I am no good? To tell myself that I shouldn't have borrowed the money? No. All of these statements help to just expand the problem because it sustains a temporal focus. I need to repent and enter the spiritual world in order to find the solution.
1. I must recognize that I have made a serious mistake. I have made promises and have failed to keep them. I have not represented the Lord Correctly.
2. I then seek to be forgiven by heavenly Father and to get his Spirit back into my life. I cannot overcome this without Him.
3. I will apologize to the banker for not keeping my promises.
4. Finally, I will seek spiritual help to find ways to earn more money, so I can repay the loan. All of which will help me to grow spiritually, as I seek and receive spiritual help to meet my obligations.
I DO NOT DENY THE DEMAND OF JUSTICE.
I accept the consequences for my choices, and then seek to use these consequences to grow spiritually. Some of the consequences are as follows:
1. the banker will continue to cal and ask for his money.
2. He will treat me like I am a dishonest person, that my word is not good and that I am not trustworthy.
3. My relationship with him will be damaged.
4. My credit will be damaged.
5. Others will learn of my failure to pay the debt.
6. Others may condemn me for not keeping my promises.
These consequences are mine. I fully qualified for them. My choices have brought them into my life, but as I repent, the Saviors atonement has paid for my mistakes in full. My salvation will not be hindered from this mistake. In fact, as I make restitution, my spiritual growth will continue to be on schedule for exaltation.
SEE THOUGHT PATTERN #9 ON REPENTANCE.
"I know that every difficulty we face in life, even those that come from own negligence or even transgression, can be turned by the Lord into growth experiences, a virtual ladder upward."
(Elder Scott, Ensign, May 1996, p. 26)
When if comes to my grandmother, my daughter, or my son's problems, I can be a comfort, a support, and a light unto them. This is the best way to serve my Heavenly Father, by helping him with these sons and daughters of His. I recognize that I am not their solution, but I can be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. Each may try to convince me that I am their solution, but I know better. Heavenly Father is their only solution. The gospel is the solution. I can help give priesthood blessings, counsel them and just listen. But in the end, their inner peace and happiness must come from above. even their pain and suffering can be for their good, if it draws them closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior.
The school teacher has a problem which she must solve. She can meet with my daughter to build that relationship for respect. She can meet with me to see if I have any suggestions for her and my daughter. The three of us can meet to see what can be done. But in the end, the teacher has to find ways to solve her problem. If my daughter has a problem with this teacher, then she will also need to find a solution. My input is one of a stewardship assignment, that is, to pray and try to help others solve their problems.
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